You Don’t Have to React

My two cents, take what resonates and leave the rest:⁣⁣

In 2012 I typed this phrase, “You don’t have to react.” I printed it out and cut the paper into strips, and left them where I would see them all day. They were in my wallet, taped to my mirrors, in my car, at my desk-everywhere.

“You don’t have to react.” It’s such a simple statement.

I was spending too much time playing into the negative reaction game.⁣

The one where I was fighting with someone who wasn’t hearing me, because I wasn’t hearing them. The only way to stop the cycle was to stop reacting. I finally saw that reacting in this manner was pointless.⁣ I needed to listen. ⁣ ⁣

I was to observe. I was to experience. I was to learn from the situation. Those days, I often felt like it was just the way my life was. That I “had to” react-to be triggered and then get through it. I felt that I had to engage. I didn’t. And neither do you.⁣

I learned that I don’t need to do anything except to be. I don’t need to argue my point. I don’t need to have a snappy comeback. I don’t need to roll my eyes or plug my ears or shout in defiance.

Do I still slip back into react-mode sometimes? Absolutely! Though, I’m getting better at staying out of it. In my experience, I’ve taken so much time in a state of negative reaction that I’ve not lived deeply. Instead, I’ve managed. I’ve dealt with things.⁣ I’ve survived.

So no, I don’t have to react. I can choose to receive the message, interpret it, accept or reject it, make changes to myself or the situation if necessary, and move on. I can do all of that without reacting negatively.

We all can.